I know so many women who were rooting for Kelis to take Nas to the bank regarding their divorce but I can’t say that I agree with the whole “Make Him Pay“ mentality. You see, as a woman with two brothers who I happens to be very close to them, I often think of my brothers when I hear of these types of situations. Having two brothers allows me to view a lot of issues that men and women find themselves in from both sides of the fence. That along with the fact that it’s my nature to examine all sides of a situation, I often find myself debating the position of the minority. As a child, my mother even referred to me as the family fence straddler, a title that I’ve come to embrace as I’ve grown up. I’ve sat back for years and listened to women complain of how trifling their men are and how they are no good but I’m forced to ask, “Why didn’t you keep your legs closed?“ And while I am very aware that people don’t show who they “really” are early on in a relationship, talking bad of them after your child is born is so unhealthy. Keeping your child away from their father is even worse, and lying about the paternity is the most trifling thing a person can do.

I often think of the amount of women that I know who have problems with their baby daddy’s and how they make the child suffer because the two grown ups can’t get along. But what it really boils down to is this woman is hurt that either this man no longer wants her or they can’t be together, so she becomes bitter. While this may not be the case for so many women, there are some that this mindset applies to. People think they are doing what’s good for their child but in the long run that child suffers a great deal. As a woman who grew up with both parents, I can honestly say I don’t know what my life would’ve been like without my father. Although he is no longer here in the physical sense, his presence in my life was the foundation for who I would eventually become. I am in no way implying that women cannot raise their children alone but if there is a man who is willing to be there, allow him that right. If his financial situation is not intact be patient, because you would want the mother of your future son’s child to have patience with him as well. In the grand scheme of things, children do not see dollar signs when they see their fathers, they see daddy, unless something else is embedded in their head by the one they admire the most……their mothers.

I am well aware that there are some men who don’t deserve the privilege of seeing their children but if they want to see them, why not take the high road and grant them their wishes. This brings me to my point. I don’t know if Nas not being allowed to witness the birth of he and Kelis’ son is a rumor or not, but the thought of one of my brothers not being allowed to see the birth of their unborn child makes me cringe. There is no beef, disagreement or amount of dislike that cannot be put on the back burner for this occasion that is not only special to the mother but to the father as well. The next time your baby daddy or ex husband isn’t doing what you want him to do, please refrain from using your child as collateral to get him to act right. Something about using your child as leverage just seems wrong.